[WARNING: I know it seems impossible, but this post might actually be NSFW. There is a song on the Vine linked below that is inappropriate, and Choppy’s behavior in here? Not exactly ladylike…]

Choppy has just a few toys...
Choppy has just a few toys…

From the day she arrived at our house, Choppy has loved toys. She likes them all: stuffed animals, Kongs, balls – you name it, she likes it.

Of course, she shows her affection for toys by destroying them, including the Kongs. If you give her one of the learning/brain teaser toys, Choppy knows exactly how to get at the treats inside: destroy the toy by whatever means necessary.

So perhaps “love” is not quite the right word for her feelings toward her toys.

Over the course of her lifetime, only two toys have escaped her wrath: Hump Bunny and Hump Bug.

Unfortunately for Hump Bunny and Hump Bug, the reason they have not yet been torn apart is because Choppy uses them for a purpose that is stated in their names.

Yes, she humps them.

Hello, Lovers.
Hello, Lovers.

Several times a day, Choppy pulls one or both toys from her toy box and Hump Bunny and Hump Bug are subject to Choppy’s “amorous” ways.

This also occurs with some frequency when guests are over. May this serve as a warning to anyone who comes to our house that you will likely see some NSFW action (and remember, at least be grateful that it isn’t your leg that is subject to this behavior).

And so, while Choppy can’t tell me which of her toys are her favorites, I have to imagine that the two toys which are the subject of her…affection…are her favorites.

[And, I made this video showing the behavior (because I know at least one or two of you is curious). It is inappropriate. As is pretty much everything about this post.]

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