Paul – my husband of almost four months – is not a dog person. He grew up with cats, and he is still getting used to living with Choppy (by “getting used to,” I mean “reluctantly tolerating”). I’m pretty sure if he was writing this, he would have plenty of advice for dog owners (likely along the lines of “get a cat” or “unpleasant things about living with a dog”).

Rather than give regular advice to dog owners or future dog owners – the Internet is full of sites devoted to that, and this is definitely not one of those sites, in case you haven’t realized that by now – I thought I would modify the challenge a bit, with an eye to advice for (reluctant) dog owners.

1. Invest in a Good Vacuum – If you have a dog that sheds, you’re going to need to vacuum. A lot. Particularly if you want to live in a house where dog fur is not the main item of decoration. See also, Paper Towels, Rug Cleaner.

Choppy would prefer the house to be covered in dog hair, thank you very much.
Choppy would prefer the house to be covered in dog hair, thank you very much.

2. The Dog Is Always Hungry (and Will Attempt to Eat All the Food) – No matter how much the dog has eaten, she will still be hungry. I’m pretty sure Paul is horrified at the amount of food Choppy eats over the course of a day – and how much she would eat without supervision.

3. What Smells Bad Is Relative – Remember, just because you think the dog smells bad, doesn’t mean she thinks she smells bad. On a related note, if you think a wet dog smells bad, you haven’t been around too many dogs. In the pantheon of dog smells, it’s definitely not at the top. See Poop, Dead Animal, Unidentified (and with no desire to know what in the world could possibly smell so bad).

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