Two posts in one day! This is impressive, and I warn you not to get used to it (particularly as I am headed to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, where things like “getting things done” seem to fall by the wayside).
Post Two of the day is a list. It’s called “Three (Very Related) Things Camping Makes You Appreciate About Modern Civilization”:
- Hot Showers. By way of confession, I took two showers over the course of a week of camping. This lack of showering occurred because (a) the showers at the campground were only lukewarm, and (b) after the third day, the weather was not warm. In combination, these factors meant that a shower was a highly unpleasant affair. Considering the only creature I was around during this time (Choppy) regularly rolls in animals that are no longer alive, I figure any smell I gained by failing to take showers only made her love me more. And yes, I sort of just compared myself and my smell the last few days to dead animals. Be glad you weren’t here to experience it firsthand.
- Climate Control. I am thrilled that tonight I will not be wearing gloves and a coat to bed. Or doing my makeup in the front seat of the car, so that I can at least be warm for a few minutes to start my day.
- Indoor Plumbing. Here is a how every night after it got cold went while I was camping:
9:00 PM – Go to bed.
12:00 AM – Wake up. Realize I need to pee. Decide it is too cold to get up and walk to the restroom, which is not too far, but would require getting out of the nice, warm sleeping bag. Figure I can hold it until the morning (which, considering I will be waking up at 6:00 a.m., is not too far in the future).
3:00 AM – Wake up again. Still have to pee. Figure it must be nearly 6:00 a.m. Look at phone to see what time it is. Realize it is only 3:00 a.m. Decide it is too cold to get up and walk to the restroom. Attempt to go back to bed.
3:15 AM – Still awake. Still have to pee. Get phone back out and check Internet to see what I have missed now that I keep 90 year old people hours. Realize that, like always, nothing has happened. Still have to use the restroom. Decide it is too cold to get up and walk to the restroom. Figure I haven’t peed the bed (or, more accurately for this story, sleeping bag) in a long, long time, and probably won’t start now.
5:00 AM – Wake up. Again. Still have to pee. Very badly now. Figure it must be nearly 6:00 a.m. Look at phone to see what time it is. Realize it is only 5:00 a.m. Decide it is too cold to get up and walk to the restroom. Figure that if I pee in the bed, it will at least be warm for a few minutes. Realize I would then have to take a shower in the cold, and thus previous idea is bad on multiple levels. Hope that I can make it another hour.
6:00 AM – Wake up. Realize the sky has started lightening. Still have to pee. Desperately so. Say silent thank you for the invention of indoor plumbing and curse idea of camping. Run to restroom (after securing Choppy in the car, lest I have another escape).
Yes, so, indoor plumbing, I love you.
For her part, Choppy just seems to be happy to be inside again, having spent a week without going indoors. She climbed up on a hotel bed, passed out, and slept for several hours.
This is Choppy after our return to the world of hotels. I would probably have been equally passed out and thankful for a soft bed, except (a) shower! and (b) wifi! I heart modern civilization. And so, it seems, does Choppy.
Travels with Choppy 