As you may recall, last week we had some adventures here at home involving a fireplace and a rat. You should totally click that and read the story (there are pictures!), but if you are pressed for time, here’s the short version: Paul and I found a rat in the fireplace last week. We attempted to catch it in a rat trap (what we planned to do once we caught it, we had no idea. But that was a bridge we were going to cross only when we got to it).

There have been developments. Ones that involve dead things. There may be pictures (hint: that’s a warning to anyone who might be queasy about dead animal pictures to stop reading this and go look at pictures of Choppy dressed up instead).

First, our rodent trap did not catch the rat. All it did was impart the area near the fireplace with a distinct peanut butter smell. So that was a partial win for the rodent trap.

Second, having failed to catch said rat, we called in the big guns: a local fireplace store. We figured they could cap the fireplace and clean it out, thereby dealing with the whole situation (instead of just trapping the animal – which Paul had named Bert, a la Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins). Thursday morning, the fireplace guys arrived, and the pictures below show what happened.

This is how the living room looked while they cleaned out the fireplace. I worried the entire time that creatures were going to start running out of the fireplace. I hung out upstairs. This is why you get married: so your husband can hang out downstairs and deal with rodents running around.
This is how the living room looked while they cleaned out the fireplace. I worried the entire time that creatures were going to start running out of the fireplace. I hung out upstairs. This is why you get married: so your husband can hang out downstairs and deal with rodents running around.
Choppy really didn't care about the whole "cleaning the fireplace" situation. Though she wasn't going too far from it, either.
Choppy really didn’t care about the whole “cleaning the fireplace” situation. Though she wasn’t going too far from it, either.
This is the pamphlet they gave us about needing a fireplace cap. Just in case the rat we saw running around in the fireplace wasn't enough to make us want to get it capped, this illustration of what is going on in there should have been the kicker. Also, I love this picture so much.
This is the pamphlet they gave us about needing a fireplace cap. Just in case the rat we saw running around in the fireplace wasn’t enough to make us want to get it capped, this illustration of what is going on in there would have been the kicker. Also, I love this picture so much. A farting skunk! The raccoon contemplating whether he should attack the woman with the broom! The squirrel just chilling and doing acorn drugs at the top of the fireplace! It is the best pamphlet. [Note: Paul saw this when he woke up and pointed out that the bird is pooping. Just when I thought the pamphlet couldn’t get any better…]
I'm pretty sure the fireplace guys thought I was crazy. Probably because I made them pull the dead bird they found in the chimney out of the garbage so I could take a picture of it.
I’m pretty sure the fireplace guys thought I was crazy. Probably because I made them pull the dead bird they found in the chimney out of the garbage so I could take a picture of it.
And the dead rat as well. RIP, Burt.
And the dead rat as well. RIP, Bert. [Note: Thanks to commenter Steve, who let me know this is actually a squirrel. They look very different dead than alive, apparently. Perhaps he was partaking of the acorn drugs and this is why he looks somewhat strung out]

 

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